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  • Writer's pictureHolly Ridgway

Make the Request

I was talking with a girlfriend recently who explained how good it felt to tell her boyfriend that she needed him to call her each night. He lives an hour and half away Monday through Friday because of his job and some nights when he didn't call to connect with her, she would be stir crazy...usually making up the story that they're over this time for sure for whatever reason de jour the mind makes up with a lack of actual information.

Her sweetie wasn't enjoying the lack of trust she was exhibiting and questioned her confidence and self-esteem. I imagined that could not be easy to hear from him but she pressed on saying it's not about that:"call it whatever you want but this is something I need to feel good about our relationship." It's what she wants with him or anyone. For a moment she was questioning herself but I said bravo! Because the thing that I noticed is that it's totally the move of a secure woman with high self worth to ask for what she wants!

I know that in my past I would have said to myself that I'm being needy or insecure so I shouldn't ask for what I want in a relationship. How backwards is that? That was in fact me placating to keep my man around trying to prove my worth and value rather than knowing my worth and value. By withholding my desire I gave energy and attention to the lack of my worthiness, not how great I am.

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