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  • Writer's pictureHolly Ridgway

Blame Vs. Response-ability

Updated: Mar 26, 2020

Here are a few suggestions to take your power back!


When we blame, we are at the affect (victim) of the person or circumstances we blame. We have surrendered control. "It’s them, it's not me!" Well, now you’re screwed. Because we all know we can’t change them. We can only change us...Our perceptions, our responses, and our actions. But how? It can be so convincing that the problem started with the “other” and if only they would do it right, things would be okay! Well, here are a few suggestions to take your power back. This is from the Hendricks institute and I’ve chosen to share a few of the ones I hear most.


Blame:

You’re not listening to me.

Conscious:I wonder how I can communicate more effectively?


Blame:

You always criticize me.

Conscious:

I commit to seeing you as my ally.


Blame:

Why are they doing this to me? Why did she/he leave me? How could you have treated me like that?

Conscious:

How am I organizing things so this is happening?


Blame:

You spend too much money.

Conscious:

I’m willing to grow in abundance as we each do what we love to do.


Blame:

You don’t do what you say you’re going to do.

Conscious:

I wonder how I can generate reliable agreements.

Blame:

You never touch me unless you want sex.

Conscious:

I’m feeling hungry for more touch. I want to find a way for us to have more non-sexual touch.


Blame:

Why were you flirting all night at the party? Conscious:

I got scared when I saw you talking in the corner.

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